On the Homefront

So, things have been quiet around here since Rick came home...a week early with less than a three hour notice:-) Those of you seasoned Sub Wives know that this is a common occurance and occurs more often than not. I remember two such incidents over the years that stick out. The first one being on Thanksgiving, the year Zachary turned 2. Because Rick wasn't going to be home, I was not cooking, instead the kids and I were going to eat some easy meal, spend the day at the beach,and go see Elmo in Grouchland in the evening. So, early Wednesday afternoon, I found out from less than official channels that they would be home the next day. So of course I dropped everything and went to the grocery store in search of a turkey...the night before Thanksgiving. The closest thing I could find was a small little turkey breast. So I took it home and cooked it, picked Rick up, we ate, and then we went to the movies. Elmo in Grouchland was Zachary's first movie and ended up being his favorite movie for many years. To this day my entire family quotes lines from that movie. The second incident of little notice of how or where they were coming home was when Rick came home for our daughters high school graduation. Up until the day he arrived, I wasn't sure when or where he was coming in via a transition out in the Harbor. I received an email the day he came home telling me that he would call me and let me know. Two hours before my daughters best friend graduated from another high school I received a telephone call that he was at the ferry landing at Iroquois Point ready to be picked up...in the middle of no where. He made it home 24 hours before his oldest daughter graduated.... I'm saying this because this last time the boat pulled in there was a great deal of complaining about the fact there wasn't enough notice given about the boat coming in. Last time I checked the United States Navy really did not owe us the curteousy of telling us anything about their mission and when they were coming or going. I'm just saying. I would think that the fact that your husband was going home would out weight any frustration in the regular inconsistent nature of the submarine force communication. As a Sub Wife there are many things that are required of you, but the most valuable one is flexibility and the ability to roll with the schedule. Had I chose to be frustrated that Thanksgiving or for my daughters graduation I would have taken from the time that my family did have together. Remaining flexible on the Homefront will give your submariner the peace of knowing that no matter how the schedule or orders change, that you as his MAIN SUPPORT SYSTEM will be able to take a deep breath, and roll with it. He needs you to no matter how you feel about it, pull up your boot straps and make it happen, without making him feel like dirt for loving both you and his country. You may be saying...you don't know what happened to our orders, or our change of homeport:-) Believe me...I have survived two changes of homeports...and God knows that after 22 years in Hawaii orders to Guam were something I never imagined. But in order for Rick to be successful in this tour...I need to be on board and support him. Things are not awful for me here...I have a job I love...I have decent house...my kids are in a school that they like and have a family of supporters in Guam...I have made some good friends that will be lifelong ones...I have to daily make the choice to have a good attitude, focus on the good things...to make sure when he does come home it is to a place where he wants to be...where the time he spends here is not full of frustration. HONORCOURAGECOMMITMENT

Never Judge a Book By It's Cover

Never judge a book by its cover. This statement pertains to much more than a book and its contents. I know myself when I am shopping for a book I have learned that creator of the cover is most often not the writer of the story, so why would I confuse the gift of illustrating or packaging with the art of writing? You have to really know the author or be willing to take a chance on a new author and completely overlook the cover. How many times in your life have you allowed what you thought or heard about another individual to determine how you react to that person or whether or not you chose to invite that person into your life? We have all done it. It may have been because you trusted the person who delivered their opinion about the other person and you assumed that your experience would mirror theirs? Maybe the situation was a bad one and no matter who was involved your friend would have negative feelings toward them. Or your reaction may be initiated by a past experience with someone like them. Or maybe something they said or did rubbed you the wrong way the first time you met them. Whatever the reason we have all met a person for the first time and have brought past knowledge or experience into the decision making process of how we feel about that person. Do you and your friends have the same exact taste in music, books, or movies? Have you ever not read a book because someone you respected said it was awful? Only to read it later and love it? Have you went to a movie that got bad reviews, only to really like it? The same thing can happen with people. Just because your current acquaintance A had a negative experience with person B, does not mean that your experience will be the same. Think of all the good books and movies you would have missed out on if you had not taken a chance and decided to find out whether or not you liked it for yourself? In my opinion if you are willing to take a chance on something that will have a small impact on your life like a movie, while don't we take the same approach with people. Why allow some else's opinion guide our relationships with others? Take a chance of people and get to know them for your self, it could mean that you find a blockbuster or New York Bestselling friend! What I am telling you is this...just because someone you know doesn't like a certain person in the command, for what ever reason. Take the time to get to know the person for yourself, form your own opinion and then decide for yourself. If you don't you may miss out on an experience of a life time. HONORCOURAGECOMMITMENT

Put Your Big Girl Panties on and Deal With It

This has always been one of my favorite sayings...not just to say to others...but to encourage myself. There are times in life that the situations that you find yourself in totally sucks and the only way to make it through those situations is faith and a whole lot of humor..or tears. Since I do not enjoy crying and it usually leaves you feeling heavy and drained, I most often opt for laughing instead of crying. It is those situations that I encourage myself by saying...Put your big girl panties on and deal with it. So, I have decided to give out the Big Girl Pantie Award (if there is enough interest that is) This is how it will work...nominations will be taken via comment on this post. A vote will then be conducted to determine who the winner of the Big Girl Panty Award. The winner of this award will receive the above magnet and a coffee cup. If there is interest and we can keep this going I will conduct nominations and votes monthly. Nominations can be made of Navy Wives near and far who you think deserve the Big Girl Pantie Award...it could be someone who is really struggling and may need some love from her sisters, or someone who has made it through a tough situation by relying on humor and a good nature. So ladies...invite your friends to follow this contest and leave your nominations for someone (even yourself) who deserves the Big Girl Pantie Award! ***Once you leave a comment I will have to approve it for publishing. So if it doesn't show up immediately, give it some time and check back later!

Character

Last night at the Guam Region Khaki Ball retired Command Master Chief Luis Cruz made this powerful statement, "Character makes trust possible and trust makes leadership possible." As a human being your character should be important to you, because it really is how people see you. However, as a Navy spouse your character is how the world see's not only you, but your husband and often his command. What does this mean for your husbands career? Well, if your character is one of honor courage and commitment, then the command and others will begin to factor your character into your husbands character factor, breeding trust, which in return will cause individuals to begin to give your husband more and more responsibility, preparing him for more leadership roles. However, should your character be one that causes others to doubt his character, because of your words or actions, then they will be less reluctant to trust him with responsibility and leadership. Now, I'm not saying he will not ever get ahead, but why would you as his spouse work against him and cause him to work twice as hard? This doesn't mean you need to be this super involved, all knowing spouse. For many years I was not involved with any command activities because we had four small children and I have always worked full time. Even if you chose not to become involved your support of your husband and the command is seen as a positive character trait. This can be done in simple ways like making sure that he has what he needs to succeed at work like a clean uniform, a good diet, flexibility and understanding of the ships demanding schedule, the freedom of not having to worry about you causing trouble in the FRG or among the wives, making sure your finances are taken are of, taking care of your children and educating them on daddy's sacrifices, and being there when he needs you. And while it sounds like a simple plan...I promise you it often requires more than you think you have to give some days:-) It wasn't until my husband's twenty-one year mark that I became a more active part of his career by supporting the command and speaking at spouse symposiums. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret....I am not comfortable meeting new people...once I get to know you it's all good...but that initial let me introduce myself gives me a stomach ache. So moving to Guam and becoming even more active in his career has been very difficult for me. After living in Hawaii for twenty-two years I was very comfortable in my role and knowing those around me, so taking a leap and moving to where I knew exactly four people...two of which I had never met in person was quite the challenge for me. I'm still stumbling through introducing myself and getting to know people and very much out of my comfort zone. However, I am working to put my big girl panties on and get over it, to ensure that this tour is a success not only for my husband and his career, but for my own personal growth and development. What does your character say about you, your husband and his career? When you ask yourself this question...can you answer with confidence that your character is an asset to his career? HONORCOURAGECOMMITMENT!!!

Are you the Wife of a Chief Petty Officer or an E-7?

So, while on Facebook I stumbled across a video the Hawaii Navy Region 2010 CPO Selectees made titled, "Like A Chief" Unlike the previous spoof on the Chief, this video and song puts a positive spin on being the Chief. If you'd like to see it, you will have to access my Facebook page. Towards the end of the song, I heard something that made me stop and say, "Ah ha! That will be my blog title for today! The line of today's inspiration asks the difference between a Chief Petty Officer and an E-7. So my question today is...will you be the wife of a Chief Petty Officer or an E7? Those of you who have to ask the difference are already heading in the wrong direction... The wife of a Chief Petty Officer does not enjoy Sea Duty , but she has a game plan to make deployments successful, she sets goals and she makes plans. She bites her tongue and only gives out positive vibes. The wife of an E-7 walks around talking about how much she hates sea duty. The wife of a Chief Petty Officer does all that she can to ensure that he is ready to go when the brow is lifted. The wife of an E7 looks for ways to get her husband out of going underway, The wife of a Chief Petty Officer does not complain when he comes home four hours later than anticipated, she just keeps his dinner warm and remains flexible. The wife of an E-7 shows everybody whose in charge, by calling the command ranting and raving, and putting her frustration all over Facebook. The wife of a Chief Petty Officer understands when the ships schedule changes or the 100th time in one week, and keeps her plan flexible, remaining calm. The wife of an E-7 insists that the command stick to their previous schedule because she has plans, and proceeds to run her mouth up the chain of command making a fool of herself...embarrassing her husband (his words, not, mine) and herself. The wife of a Chief Petty Officer is able to step in and make peace, guiding those who may not know better, advising them to avoid gossip and the rumors than can pose as a distraction to the real mission...the NAVY!!! The wife of an E-7 spends all her time texting and posting on Facebook all the gossip and rumors that come her way. The wife of a Chief Petty Officer understands that while a situation may appear one way, she doesn't have all the information, so she should reserve judgment. The wife of an E-7 takes any tidbit of information, blows it out of proportion and spreads it like wild fire. So, let me ask you again...Are you the wife of a Chief Petty Officer or an E-7? Some people may tell you what you do does not affect your husbands career...well I'm here to tell you that it's a crock. Should you chose the noble road of being the wife of a Chief Petty Officer, your mentoring, guidance and support of the spouses around you will make a positive impact on his career. However, should you chose the low road of being the wife of an E-7 you will have a negative impact on his career...TRUTH! What's it going to be? HONORCOURAGECOMMITTMENT

Sub Wife...on Murphy's Law

Please let me begin with a disclaimer...No grammar, spelling, or other errors of this post can be credited to me the writer of this post. All errors will be the sole responsibility of the pain killers I was given this afternoon...for a kidney stone. You see there is regular people Murphy's Law and then there is the Sub Wife Murphy's Law. It is similar to Murphy's Law in that when the boat leaves whatever can go wrong will go wrong. The boat left this week and within several hours I was sure I had a kidney stone. While he was still here I thought it was the flu...once he left in became apparent that it was a kidney stone. It always happens like this. For example within 30 days of a 6 month deployment I usually find myself in the Emergency Room with one of more children. The shortest time was three days at the beginning of the 2002, 9 1/2 month deployment on the USS Louisville...and we all know how that ended up. The one prior to this one was two weeks into a deployment, on a new boat, at a new job...with Joshua's broken nose. I have found that it is much easier to accept the Sub Wife version of Murphy's Law rather than fight it. After all in the words of Kelly Clarkson...Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!!

Please check it out and consider making a purchase to support the Football Team of Guam High School...I already did...using my gifts as an Olympic shopper:-)