Encouragement

I borrowed the following story from the MCPON Michael Stevens Facebook page

Please enjoy this wonderful personal story from Chief Arnold. Thank you for sharing Chief. -- MC2 ROSPRIM I don’t typically post about Naval matters, and I may never again, but today I had to share as it has consumed my thoughts all day. About 8 hours ago I rushed into the commissary on-board Newport to get a few items and realized I had forgotten my wallet at check out. I hurried out the door to retrieve it and as I exited I observed the crisp new Ensign and his family getting out of their crowded old car as they had clearly just left OCS graduation. I contemplated the obstacle and considered taking the long way around to my Jeep and then thought, ”oh, hell just go past and give him his salute, he’ll probably love it as he has probably had all of 3 since commissioned”. I approached and rendered one of my finest salutes to set a good example for this new young Naval Officer. He was kind of at an awkward angle and I said proudly, “good afternoon sir”. He fumbled clumsily around, returned my salute and stated, “good afternoon Sir!” I laughed a little on the inside and thought, “Sir? It’s ok, he’ll figure it out”. As I moved toward my Jeep I could feel him advancing me from behind, I hadn’t covered much distance and his family was still close enough to us to hear our conversation. He walked up to me with a sense of pride in his smile that I didn’t think existed much anymore and stuck his hand out. I shook his hand and he handed me a One Dollar coin, at this point I realized what was happening. I thought, “this is great, but I wish it had been a junior Sailor so they could have experienced this moment”. He said, “Chief, I graduated OCS today and you gave me my first salute”. For a moment time seemed to stand still and I really began to absorb some of the finer details. I looked at the car they were crammed into and it wasn’t worth much. I looked at the clothes his family wore and they were far from designer quality. I smelled not a hint of arrogance or self-entitlement. No, what his family was was a strong foundation and humble. I imagined that they probably never had much and that his mother probably struggled to raise these kids and put this young man through college. I thought they probably didn’t have much money, but they were not going to miss this special day for anything. As things came back into focus he said, “I’m very proud” and I said to him, “I’m very proud of you”. I was no longer in a rush and as a symbol of respect I put my hands behind my back in that way that we do to show him that he is the superior and that even though I’m the Chief he’s the Naval Officer and this is the way it is. This young man exuded humility, respect, and a rooted sense of humble that spoke volumes of who he was and the type of officer he is probably going to be. I was in my most professional posture and a heightened sense of articulation flowed naturally. I told his mother she should be very proud of him and she nodded her head as if almost speechless to what she felt inside. Her and I exchanged a look and her eyes said thank you almost as if she understood I could have owned the situation as the old salt but I let him have this moment as his own. He thanked me and I looked him right in the eyes and said, “no, thank you Ensign. You may not realize it now or even understand it, but this moment is one of the best in my 19 year Navy career”. He looked at me a little confused and I said, “the look in your eyes right now tells me everything I need to know about you and the sense of pride you demeanor projects gives me hope that our Navy is in good hands with officers like you and this coin will be in my shadow box when I retire”. If I had a camera for the look on his face. Oddly, I think he understood. And I don’t think he’ll ever forget… Why is Jamis Chief Arnold sharing this? Because it is in these critical infancy moments of a young Sailors career every moment counts. If my demeanor or professionalism had said to him ahhhh what ever or a shrug off waste of time, my actions could have changed the dynamics of his whole career. Officers relationships with enlisted Sailors is dictated by our actions in every moment. Sure, I could have said said, “Ensign, I’m a Chief and work for a living so don’t call me Sir” in any tone I wanted I wanted to use, but what lesson does he really learn from that? None. I would have stolen his moment, cheated him out of his first salute and showed his family the professionalism the Navy “really” has. Worst case scenario, he carried his grudge into his senior officer years for that one moment and it creates a difficult working environment when you are trying to lead your junior Sailors. The ball is always in your court, set the right example.

We should all strive to treat those we have been charged to mentor with such respect and encouragement. As Navy spouses, particularly Submarine spouses, we have a very small tight knit community, as I have often said that what is the real world six degrees of separation is more like one and half degrees of separation in the sub world. As we begin our journey as a Navy spouse, we often look to those who have been in the community longer than we have for clues on this lifestyle and how to manage it, as we get some more time under our belt we become those who the new spouses are looking at for guidance. I think we should all strive to celebrate each other regardless of rank in those achievements that we all held in high regard at that stage of life. We should celebrate with the spouse who is excited because her husband got his Dolphins, even though it was many moons ago that our spouses got their dolphins. As those spouses who we mentor sailors get promoted and add that crow and more stripes, we should celebrate them and go out of our way to encourage them. You should never forget where you came from and the work it took to get you where you are today. You should never slight or minimize their accomplishments, as they were once yours. Instead seek to congratulate, support,and encourage those you are called to mentor. It could make a greater impact than you think. HONORCOURAGECOMMITMENT